The Mind of Goren
by The Mominator
Summary: Whenever Bobby is conversing with someone, I feel that his mind is racing with thoughts that he never dares say.


**The Mind of Goren**

The dialogue between Bobby and the other characters are from the episode "Brother's Keeper," his thoughts are mine.

**Frances' Room at the Hospice**

Bobby and Frances are in her room at the hospice the news is on, his entourage is escorting Reverend Riggins of the Light of Heaven Church from his car.

"Tsk, that preacher, he's just another big phony." Frances touches his arm, "You know he wants a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage," she chuckles as she scratches under her wig with a pencil, "Sure, would like to see what goes on in that bedroom. Why are you defending him?"

He turns away from the TV, "I'm not defending him."

"They're charlatans these people, he's suppose to be a believer, in which case he's suppose to believe that God has a reason for her death, right?"

_Sometimes I forget how perceptive you are._

"So why is he crying."

He just nods his head and smiles, _He's crying like I did, when I was a kid because of what God did to you._

Frances' doctor enters the room, "What is he doing here?"

_He's here to help you Mom, come on._

Bobby greets the doctor, "Doctor Sylvest." He walks away from her bed and the doctor takes hold of her arm, Frances pulls away, "Oh no."

He struggles with her a little, "I see the patient's her usual shy self."

He turns his head away, _God why do you have to be so stubborn; you get worse every year._

"Bobby,"

"Yes."

"I want to go back to my room."

He scratches the back of his head, "I know Ma."

"You know, everyone tiptoes around me."

_No they don't. _

She points with her pencil. "You know why? Because on my chart it says, I'm a schizophrenic. So in that case why don't they send me back to my room in the nuthouse, not a hospital." She makes a fist and hits her leg, "Not a hospice."

"You're almost there Misses Goren," he catches Bobby's eye, "She's handling the chemo very well."

"Oh I really am," Frances pulls on her wig, "look at this."

She says sternly, "Now listen, I am done with all of this, you tell them that."

_I wish you were, Ma._

Bobby says, "Ok. I'll do that."

"Good," she says as she points her finger at her son.

"I'll tell them," he lightly grabs her finger and shakes it, "I'll do that," she grabs hold of his hand with hers. "Ok."

She lets go, nods, and starts to sob. He turns to follow the doctor out of the room, "We're gonna go outside for a minute, ok?" He grabs the door handle.

"If your brother were here I wouldn't have gone through all of this."

_Here it comes_.

Bobby opens the door, "Ma, I'm just gonna be out here."

She continues to speak as the men leave the room, "He would have taken care of me."

_Yeah maybe I should find his ass and he can deal with this crap for a while, God knows I need a day off………… Nah I don't trust him._

He closes the door as Frances continues to sob.

**The Next Afternoon**

Bobby and Alex have just left the Light of Heaven Evangelical Institute and are walking toward their SUV, when he notices a man standing up against the building and shakes his head. Alex looks up at him and then at the stranger.

Bobby walks toward him, whispering, "Oh God."

The stranger stuffs his hands in his pockets, "Hey Bobby."

Shaking his head. "What are you doing here, man?"

The stranger walks toward him and a faint smile crosses his face, "Church people, they're good people, man."

Bobby nods his head in agreement, "Yeah I know."

The stranger looks up at the building, "They got me clean, feed me. I would have been dead a long time ago if it wasn't for them, I mean it." He notices Alex and nods his head, "How you doing?"

She smiles at the stranger. He stuffs his hands deeper in his pockets, "So how's Mom?"

_So how's Mom?………….. Shit what century should I start with?_

"I need to talk to you about her, I'll get some coffee." He turns to Alex, "You want some coffee?"

"I could go for a cup." Minutes later Bobby returns with the coffee.

Frank says, "My phone? I got into a thing with the phone company. If you left me messages I'm sure they have them. They won't let me access them."

Bobby takes a sip of coffee, "Yeah sure."

"So how sick is she?"

Bobby shakes his head, "She's not good. I've been looking into experimental…….She's not good."

"You should try prayer, Bobby, it works miracles."

_Yeah I use to pray all the time, look where it got me._

"Mom's always talking about you, she's always asking me why I didn't become a scientist like you."

_She should know about the experimental drugs you and your friends use to take._

Frank shivers, "She always believed in me."

_Yeah and I have to hear about it._

"I gotta go," Frank says.

Frank looks up the sidewalk and a woman is slowly walking toward them holding a box with a cup of coffee. "That's my old lady over there. She's a little shy." He chuckles.

_Jesus Christ, my loser, homeless brother has a girlfriend, Shit, maybe I'm the loser._

Frank points toward Alex, who is sitting in the SUV. "That woman, is that your wife?"

He lowers his head, "That, that's my partner."

"So what are you waiting for?"

He shakes his head and smiles, "No it's not that kind of partner."

_I never thought about her that way. _He glances quickly at Alex_. She is very…..Man why did you have to put that thought in my head._

"Look, I'm gonna see Mom on Sunday, I'm thinking that maybe we could go together and see her you know. We could meet here."

"Yeah I know, it's her birthday, right?"

"Yeah."

Frank shivers and wipes his eyes, "No man I don't think so. I got…….I'm a little short this month."

Bobby digs into his pocket, "Yeah well look."

"No," Frank says.

"That's alright, it's Ok, look here." He stuffs money in Franks pocket, "Hey look, just take this all right."

"Oh thanks," Frank says, "Fifty dollars, I'm gonna pay you back on Sunday."

_No, you won't._

Bobby waves his hand, "That's ok."

Frank says, "Huh, so we meet right here, crack of noon."

Bobby laughs, _I hope you'll show up but I doubt it… Stop being such a pessimist… maybe this time he will._

Bobby takes off his coat. "I'll give you my coat."

"No………I don't need."

Bobby places his coat over his brothers shoulders, "Yeah you're cold, man."

Frank looks up at his brother, "You sure you don't need it."

"Yeah, don't be silly, don't worry about it."

"It's nice man, it's nice."

Bobby brushes the shoulder, "Yeah it's a good coat." He bends down and picks up his leather case, opens it. "So ah…I'm gonna put my card in your pocket, here…I want you to call me if you need anything. You call me and ask me, ok." He smiles and nods his head, "But I'll see you here at noon." _I hope that for her sake._

"I'll be here."

_Should I hug him?…..I'd like to…no forget that._

Bobby turns to leave, "Alright."

"Thanks Bobby."

Bobby gestures a slight wave and walks down the sidewalk, "Alright."

**Frances' Hospice Room**

Frances is lying in her bed and Bobby is sitting in a chair next to her.

"Frank will be here," says Frances, "He would never forget my birthday."

"Why don't you open your present," Bobby says.

"No I want to wait."

Bobby looks up at the clock it's one-thirty.

_Wait for him, we'll still be here when it's my birthday, Shit my birthday, I'll be forty-six years old, how did that happen?_

"He'll be here."

_No, he won't. I wonder what he spent my fifty dollars on, maybe food, I doubt it._

Frances looks over at her son, "Bobby, have you seen Frank."

He nods.

"Well, how, how is he? What did he say?"

"He's fine."

"Oh good, good…. Well of course he is."

"He said that he's cleaning himself up."

"Ah Frank, he never caught a break, you had all the luck."

_Yeah that's why he's probably out there getting laid and I'm sitting here. Shit, I can't even remember the last time. Wait I think it was right before Christmas, and now its February. Ah two months that's not so bad.….….Yes it is………. God how pathetic…_

"Where was he?"

"He was coming out of a church."

"You see that, he's going back to God. Never underestimate your brother."

_Believe me I don't, I know exactly the kind of man he is._

"I'm just…Ah, I'm just gonna close my eyes a little bit."

_I'm sorry Ma, I was hoping that I was wrong and he'd show up. Well at least I know enough not to tell you about what we had planned._

**One Police Plaza**

Bobby and Alex are watching a news report on Reverend Riggins, concerning his gay sexual encounters. Captain Ross opens the door and says, looking at Bobby. "Detective the M.E. just called, you should get down there."

Bobby, with Alex by his side, walks into the morgue.

_I didn't want to come down here alone. I didn't even have to ask and she came here with me. She didn't have to do that but I'm sure glad she did._

Doctor Rogers picks up a coat and a small card. "Detective, he had your card in his coat."

_Please God don't let it be him._.

He takes the card and coat from her and glances over at Alex. He walks toward the body and pulls back the sheet covering the shoes, _Different shoes. _He walks up to the head of the body and pulls the sheet down.

"Oh, that's not my brother," _Thank god, Ma couldn't handle that now_. "It's my coat but it's not my brother." Bobby walks away from the body. "I guess he sold it to somebody. It's ok, I mean I gave it to him. He can sell it if he wants to."

He looks at his partner, "Everybody needs money, right?"

Alex nods her head and a slight smile crosses her face, he walks past her toward the door._ I knew it, you haven't changed. You disappointed her and made a fool of me…. again……… you selfish son of a bitch, two of a kind you and the old man._

**The End**


End file.
